First of all, I want to say I love my fellow guildies. I know I'm not always the most personable person, I prefer to do a large portion of my game solo and have some characters I play on when I don't want to be bothered. However, I do spend a good bit of my time looking at boss strategies, and making sure I am doing the best I can to help out the raid from a gearing/preparation standpoint. I have helped several people get prepared for raiding, whether they hadn't raided before or just needed some advice to tweak their characters.
That being said, I expect a certain decorum from people inside the guild. The issue on my mind dealing with this is not something I would kick some one from the guild for. Nor would I keep them off the raid team for said issue. Its something that plagues the game here and there and I know you have all experienced it. Yesterday I got a rather annoying reminder of this issue.
It's the expectation that A.Things are always as YOU see them, and B. The expectation that I'm going to step in, or say anything over misunderstandings.
We play in a digital environment where a lot of what people say is typed and communicated without the luxuries of body language and vocal intonation to help us understand what people mean. That means at times someone might type something to you and you won't get the full understanding of what they are communicating. This can lead to misunderstandings on jokes, sarcasm, and even on how you plan things with said person. Misunderstandings do, and will happen so from the bottom of my heart I ask....
Do not get butt hurt if you misunderstand someone, or things don't go the way you plan.
You can control exactly one person in WoW. That is yourself. Due to the limitations on most of communication in the game you should give people the benefit of the doubt. Don't assume everyone in game is out to get you, because in all likely hood they are not. The assumption that everyone lives and dies by our personal experience is destructive to friendships and interactions in general. Not to mention a self absorbed attitude that shows a lack of character in one's personality.
There are people who feel they are slighted at every turn. They assume that if someone won't wait for them to run something or if they won't drop everything to help them, that it's because that person is out for number one, and doesn't care. Sometimes these people feel used if they have recently helped that person out, and they get left behind or ignored. These feelings are normal, however you don't know what is going on at the other side of anyone else's keyboard.
I know if I'm playing during the day, normally it's in spurts and I'm not doing anything I can't step away from. I have three kids, and if they are over playing the Wii or watching T.V. I have no problem plopping down and doing some quests, leveling, or LFR. What do these things have in common? If I have to step away or drop its not going to effect anyone else's game play to a large degree. I DPS 90% of the time in LFR so I'm replaced almost as soon as I drop, before anyone attacks me on that point. My point being, I know if someone whispers me or needs me to do something during this time, and one of my kids need something, my kids comes first. I will disappear mid-conversation etc... if I need to. I normally will apologize when I get back and let you know what happened, but I am a father first and a gamer second. If that is not your priorities, do yourself a favor and revisit them.
This leads to my next point. If someone has made you feel like your being ignored, insulted, or they are breaking commitments to you, DO NOT COME WHINING TO ME! First of all, give the other person the benefit of the doubt. In most cases you will find that you didn't understand what they meant when they typed you, etc... Second of all, we are all adults here. If someone is threatening you, or abusing you let me or an officer know. If your butt hurt because you thought someone was going to wait for you before queuing for a Heroic Scenerio or LFR put on your big boy pants and GET OVER IT!
If you approach me with a complaint that could be a misunderstanding, then I'm going to do a lot of smiling and nodding. After that smiling and nodding I'm going to mourn the time of my day you have wasted and will go do my own thing. I am not going to step into pointless arguments. I am not going to police interactions in the guild which probably are just broken communication that could be resolved if you took two seconds and asked the other person what happened. If you do this and the answer isn't what you wanted to hear, I still don't want to talk to you about it unless said threats/abuse happen to you when your answered.
If you end up ignoring someone in the guild, I will get over it. If you end up deciding you won't run LFRs, scenarios, and Randoms with someone. That is your call. As a matter of fact if you are constantly feeling someone is making promises and not keeping them, that is my advice. Stop doing stuff with them. If they ask what happened politely tell them why. Don't make accusations, just simply state that they never seemed available so you stopped asking etc... Here is a secret to being a grown up. It's fine to disagree with people, or to stop doing stuff with them if it impacts you in a negative way.
The one caveat to this, if you show up and you tell me that you won't raid if the other person is in the raid, don't expect to raid with us. I am not going to pick sides or get into squabbles. When you hand me an ultimatum then I'm going to simply tell you that I will let you know when they aren't raiding so you can join. I am not catering to anyone who decides they can't raid with another member of the guild. If you don't want to raid with that person, and they are in the raid, then don't join. This hasn't happened for a while, but it bears mentioning as it has happened before.
Folks, This is a long winded rant, and what it breaks down to is just simply respect you fellow man. Give him the consideration you would want and that is all that's needed. No one is responsible for you own happiness but you. You can either hold on to grudges, be angry, and assume the worst, or you can shrug it off and move forward without the negativity. Your choice, I know what mine is.
Lay/Dizzty/Lazyeye
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